Thoughts on Growing Our Family

So, this past week, I finished all of the paperwork and assignments for both agencies that we are going to be registered with for adoption.  The first, we've been with for a while (we adopted Logan through there and we've been signed up with them for adoption #2 since February 4, 2010).  I don't call to check in much, but when I do, they've been telling me that there hasn't been a lot of action on the adoption front, which I'll be honest -- discourages me.  So, we are in the process of signing up with agency #2 (Catholic Charities). 

There is SO much paperwork involved in both places.  I get it.  It's just a slight inconvenience, especially with working full-time.  The last piece, which we completed this past week, was getting our fingerprints done.  We'll just have a home visit from CC, and then we'll just have to write some checks and we'll be back in good standing with the first and on the list with the second for another year.

I think about adoption a lot.  Are we prepared for another child?  Since we already have one amazing child, is it selfish of us to pursue another child when there are so many people who are pursing their first (and I know some of those wonderful people)?  There are so many questions.

Each time my mind starts racing, I realize that's the enemy getting at me.  Our story is written already and our Maker knows the story, so thinking/questioning really isn't going to help.  I remember that we had to wait until Logan was 1 year old to sign up for the next round and so we did, and I kept thinking, "Maybe he's too young.  Maybe we should wait until he's two."  Turns out, it didn't matter a bit when we signed up because we certainly didn't get another baby when he was one.  Or two.  And it looks like it probably won't happen while he's three.

But at the end of the day...and usually even at the first of the day and the middle of the day....I know that we are blessed.  By completing the paperwork and writing the checks, we are doing our part.  We are leaving the rest in God's hands.  We would love to have another baby in our home.  I cannot tell you how my heart just aches when I think about the possibility of Logan not having a sibling.  But it is not my choice to make.  And Someone else knows what is best for us better than we do.

Until we conclude that we are closing that door, we continue to pray for any of our next children that will enter our family, and the birthfamily of any children that may enter our family.

What a rollercoaster of emotions the adoption process is! But we've chosen to ride a little longer :)  We would love it if you would pray for us!