Before....

Who am I kidding...I'm so excited about this baby! We are trying to remain rational and keep in mind that the birth mother has every legal right to change her mind up until the point that she signs those papers. But, I'm excited anyways. We are doing things little by little. I started painting the nursery this weekend. I wish I could post before & after pictures, but I think it's going to be a while before the nursery is completely done. So, for now, here are the before pictures.

A Mess

In an effort to clean the house from top to bottom, I'm doing just that and making a mess. My house is basically turned upside down at the moment. Is it typical for expecting mothers to throw a ton of stuff away? Because I'm afraid that I'm going to regret this later...but it's just stuff, right? I'm not getting rid of sentimental stuff, just clothes, books, etc.

Adoption 101

I've been learning a lot about adoption, and I will be sharing the things that I've learned (or at least the links to find the information). If you would like to read about situations with biological fathers who have not signed a release, cannot be found or the birth mother chooses not to locate, please refer to the following website. It contains everything you need to know about a biological father's rights in Indiana (when he is not married to the mother). Basically, whether or not the biological father signs a release, his rights are considered terminated 30 days after the birth if he does not register. It does not matter if he knows about the baby or not; that's not an excuse in the state of Indiana.

http://library.adoption.com/Indiana/Indianas-Putative-Father-Registry-Succeeds/article/3433/1.html

Can't sleep

Well, I can't sleep. For those of you that know me well, you know that is probably one of the craziest things I've ever said. Not being able to sleep is something that only happens to me once every...well, pretty much NEVER.

So, my mind is racing with a lot of things. Of course there are the basic needs of our baby; all those things we need to buy and do before his arrival. I've been cleaning the house since about 3:45 a.m. I figure the whole cleaning thing will keep me busy through most of Saturday (I have to work on Saturday morning...in about 3 hours from now). Then, I have high hopes for getting a ton of stuff done that I've pretty much been putting off my whole life. You know, clean out closets, organize photos, clean out the pantry, all that stuff that I put off until I have an absolute reason to do them -- Now, I have a reason.

But more than that, my mind is racing with thoughts of what emotional and spiritual needs our son will have. I already know I want to be a more spiritual person than I am now. I want to draw closer to God, not just because we're having a baby, but it's TIME, and this whole situation puts things into perspective. I want our baby to know the best possible version of me. I want to be the best godly influence and spiritual encouragement that I can be to him.

I also want to protect him from people that will say and do things to make him feel like he is something less than others or that he cannot accomplish his dreams. I want to shield him from people with negative attitudes who emotionally drain you and suck all the happiness from your life because they are unhappy with their own life.

Then there is all the other stuff -- where will he go to school? Will he have trouble learning and need extra attention? What will I do if the other kids make fun of him or pick on him? What will I do when he graduates from high school, has his first girlfriend and/or break-up, or.....gets married? I'm crying already. I want him to stay little forever. I can't wait to watch him grow up and learn to know him and all the things that he likes and dislikes, but already, I'm scared to death. I'm a pretty paranoid person anyways (I freak out if my niece even looks like she might be thinking about choking on something she hasn't even put in her mouth yet), so I'm sure being a mom is going to heighten that paranoia multiple times over.

So, is six weeks a long time to wait for a baby? To most of you who had to carry a baby for 9 months, it seems like nothing....Right now, to me, who is running on about 4 hours of sleep....it already feels like an ETERNITY.

Baby Announcement!!!!

This morning, I was so tired and did not want to be at work and was wondering how I was ever going to make it through the day....when I got a call from the Social Worker! Yes, it's true! A birthmother picked us to adopt her baby.

Our little boy, Logan, is due on October 6, which happens to be my birthday! (We are reserving the right to change his name once we meet him, but for now, it's Logan.) We are so excited and today has pretty much been a blur to us.

Please keep in mind that we know that the birthmother has the legal right to change her mind any time before she signs the papers, but we are just going to enjoy this time. We know what "could" or "might" happen, but we are leaving this in the Lord's hands. We are so excited and we are going to enjoy the excitement.

We are requesting everyone's prayers...tell everyone you know to pray for us! Pray for the birthmother, for the baby and for us. In some ways, it doesn't seem like it's that far away, but in other ways, it feels like it's just around the corner (we have so much to do!).

We went to Babies R Us tonight and were completely lost. We have no idea what we need (we have nothing so far!), and I'm very indecisive, so I can't even begin to choose a bib...let alone a whole crib and crib set! We are very excited (how many times I have written that so far?) about becoming parents and we can't wait until we have him in our arms and we can introduce our son to the world!

Bird

Something like this would only happen to me....yesterday afternoon, Zeb was gone and I had just arrived home from work. I heard a scratching sound in our fireplace. Turns out, there was a bird stuck in there. I was afraid it would get out (our fireplace has glass doors, so it was stuck in there), so I piled pillows and blankets to keep the doors steady and also keep Charlie from seeing the bird. Well, he heard the bird, so he started barking and barking.....So, I called my parents to see if there was anything I could do. Dad decided that he needed to come and help me (thank goodness), so they arrived with fish net in-hand. The bird was hiding, so it took about 5 minutes before my parents seen/heard the bird. Well, after a few minutes, the bird comes flying out of the fireplace, right towards mom and me who were sitting on the couch. Of course, we screamed and then laughed and continued laughing until finally dad caught the bird in the kitchen. Charlie was in full hunting-mode and he definitely thought he was helping dad.

It was pretty exciting, although I was just looking forward to a peaceful Saturday. Dad fixed the problem in the fireplace, so hopefully, that won't be happening again anytime soon. Thank goodness it was just a bird and not a bat...or a raccoon, or a opossum.

35 years!

Last night, we celebrated my mom and dad's 35th anniversary! (The actual date was August 12th.) All of the family was there for a wonderful evening. Earlier in the week, they returned from a 2 week road trip out east in their Corvette. They visited 10 states!

Congratulations to my mom and dad!