1 Month

Wyatt James, you are one month old! 

You are a complete joy! All three of us adore you!

You are such a good baby.  You are right on track for everything you should be. 

We are still in that newborn haze, but we are loving every minute with you. 

Life

Life is so good these days.


We had no idea what to expect with Wyatt's addiction recovery, but so far, we have been pleasantly surprised!

He is a good baby and we all adore him.  But no one adores him more than his big brother.  It's so sweet to watch.  My heart is full.  My cup runneth over.

2 weeks old

Wyatt James, you are two weeks old already!

Your cord/belly button thingy fell off last night!  You are currently experiencing your first morphine-free day and you are doing great.

Also today, we have started feeding you every four hours instead of every three, and you don't seem to care one bit. 

You are such a good baby and we love you so very much!!

Meeting the Parents

There are really no words to express all of the feelings we experienced when meeting Wyatt's birth parents.  

Love. 

Gratitude.

What do you say to a woman who gives you the greatest gift? 

They are a sweet couple.  She seemed very shy, perhaps nervous.  He seemed a little more outgoing. 

We bought them supper at Rubios.  They both wanted fish tacos.  He drinks Mt. Dew.  She drinks Pepsi.  

He wore a baseball cap backwards and a button down shirt with pink flamingos on it.  She wore a cute black dress and seemed so thin and frail. 

Our caseworker was with us to oversee things and help break the ice. We talked for over an hour and then I took them back to meet our son. 

They held him and fed him.  And we chatted.  He likes penguins.  She has two brothers that are very musical.  

I picked up on all of these little details that I want Wyatt to know someday.

I don't think anyone could understand how and why we love them, but we do. We love them so much.  

They loved us, too, actually.  And the next morning, they signed the papers relinquishing their parental rights and giving those rights to us. 

And.....we're off!!!!

Monday evening, I came home from work and decided to take a nap.  I decided that since I would soon be lacking sleep, I was going to get as much as possible until then. 

I slept whil everyone else in the house ate supper. 

After my nap, I got up and ate. I had finished eatin and was upstairs.  Logan and Zeb were playing outside with the neighbors.  My phone rang.  I could see it was our caseworker, but I figured that she was just calling to give me an update on the meeting with the birth mother. 

When I answered the phone she said "It's baby time!!!"  I was shocked!!! 

I put her on speaker phone, ran downstairs and outside and yelled to Zeb and Logan "THE BABY IS BEING BORN!! We have to go!!!!"

The time was about 7:30.

Zeb started looking for flights and it wasn't long until we realized we probably wouldn't get a flight until morning. 

We called our immediate family and finished packing our last minute things.  

Zeb's parents came over and got Charlie.  Around 1:30 in the morning, we left to head to Indianapolis. 

On our way there, we received a text from our caseworker that the baby was born!!

(On our way!!)

Wyatt James Johnston.  10:33 pm (local time).  September 12, 2016.  6 lbs 9 oz.  20 inches long. 

We kept staring at the picture she had sent us. 

Flight left at 6:20.  We had a layover in Denver. We arrived in Arizona around 9 am local time (noon Indiana time).

(Layover in Denver!!) 

We got our luggage and a rental car (which seemed to take FOREVER).  And we were on our way to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and got out all excited.  Our caseworker told us that he had been moved to another hospital, a bigger one where they could care for his withdrawal better. 

So, we drove another 20-30 minutes to the next hospital.  

We had to wait a little bit.  And then, Logan couldn't go back there to the NICU, so I went back by myself while Zeb and Logan waited.  

I walked in and found one of the two most precious babies every to be born (Logan is the other, of course!!!).

My son.  I cried.  I marveled at how perfect he is.  

My mind raced with thoughts of addiction.  He was fairly calm and still...not at all what I expected. 

As the day went on, he just became more and more beautiful (how is that even possible?!). And we discovered that he has black hair. And hair on his arms and back! 

We are completely over-the-moon and I have so much to tell, but for now, I need to go feed him!! 

My thoughts on waiting

As I'm waiting for my baby to be born, for any sign of labor, any sign that this is happening, that the joy is near, I can't help but think of her. 

She is carrying my baby, after all.  I'm rushing away the minutes and hours, hoping they pass quickly so that moment when I hold my baby in my arms will finally be here.

But she is holding onto the minutes, willing the time to drag on and the moments not to pass.  Hoping that she can hold on for longer, that the babe inside her can remain hers for just a little bit longer.

While I am selfishly wishing for my dream to come true, she is in emotional torture and torment - perhaps scared about the delivery, most certainly scared of leaving the hospital empty handed.

While I see years of joy and happiness and fullness that cannot start soon enough, she cannot see past the tears in her eyes and the ache in her heart. 

She loved him first.  Before I did.  Before I held him, she carried him.  While I'm cursing the slow- moving clock and another day with "no news," I will turn my anxiousness into prayers for the woman that means the world to me.  Waiting is so, so hard.  But instead, I will look at this time as a gift to her....that she can keep him just a few more days.  As long as she needs to.  And suddenly, I stop wishing the time to speed up, and I bask in the now.  The joy of right now.  The hope that tomorrow brings.  

Summer Ain't Over Yet

Even though it's already past Back-to-School time, we are still choosing to believe it's summer (technically it is!!)

There was a tornado that hit my parents' house last week.  

We took Sam (our international student from China) to college this past weekend. 

My nephew is getting married in October, so there was a wedding shower last weekend and another one this weekend.

I was assigned an additional department to manage at work.  I really loved my job and felt like I had a good handle on it!  Now I'm just completely overwhelmed and lost!  But I'm thankful for the opportunity, so it will get better. 

Zeb quit his job to be a stay-at-home dad.  So that has brought a little calm to our chaos.  

Oh, and hey, we are getting a baby that's due in 15 days.  SO EXCITED!!! 

And Logan's still the best.